Trying To Get Refocused

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Its amazing sometimes how much an illness can throw you off track.  Especially when that wonderful time of the month pops its head up as well.  Rather feel like everything fell down around my ears while I was battling a cold and Kidlet had some stomach virus.  But its a new day now, she’s at school and I’m home and ready for action!  Oh, and a ton of coffee.  Today is one of those days I really wish I could just stick a coffee IV in me and go about my day.

Lots to do, have to get my home back into some sort of order, make some money (don’t we all?) and get ready for the fun to start on Wednesday!  I’ll have a brand new, bouncing nephew to coo at and take pictures of then.  Which means many hospital hours!  Its worth it though, but I’d like to be able to spend time with my family without worrying overmuch about everything at home.  Also this week is a sleep over for Kidlet at a friend’s house, and social time for Momma!  Yay!  I get to talk to grownups who aren’t a member of my family! :)

Part of the revamp is having a more active social life, I can’t play the hermit forever.  And its fun to get together with close friends and do things, besides the normal round of kid’s birthday parties.  I would like to entertain more at home as well.  Lots of plans swirling around this head.  But first I have to get the foundation started!  Can’t go jumping in without a plan, that gets me nowhere fast.  I’ll get back on top of my game one way or another…even if it kills me.

Boy I’m Productive

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At least this weekend was!  I’m completely cleaning and decluttering my home, from top to bottom…kind of like an early spring cleaning.  My home is probably the number one thing that holds me back from where I want to be in life, since I’m constantly seeing more to do.  And as a bit of a perfectionist, I can’t let it go, even if I do nothing about it.  I decided recently that my entire life needs to more or less be revamped.  And let me tell you, its a lot of work so far!  But my motivation is high, and I’m tackling things one step at a time…starting with the house.

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Then I’ll start tackling the financial things, motherhood things and learning things.  I’m slowly developing a step by step plan, a life to do list if you would.  I plan on gaining control over my life (somehow it seems to have slipped from my grasp) in all aspects.  I’ve set deadlines for some things that are holding me in the “waiting” pattern, and am taking steps for a more active social life…I don’t hate quite everyone. ;)  I feel good about 2010, and while I know it isn’t going to be all sunshine and roses, I’m more then willing to make the effort.  Though I’d still not say no to winning the lottery of course. :)

I’m bound and determined to have the ball rolling before my 27th birthday, and gaining momentum.  I have a lot to accomplish between now and then, but I really REALLY need to stop letting the past and my bloody emotions to dictate my future.  I’m tired of that little voice in my head that says that my life would be easier “if only…blah blah blah”.  Sure it would, but it would be easier if I remembered who I am and got off my butt and did something about it too!  So I’m making 2010 the year I get up off my ass and do something about it.  All in the name of balance you see. ;)

A Better Day

I think because I actually got some sleep last night!  Was in bed right after midnight, instead of 2 or 3 am like I had been.  Took a nice relaxing bath with my muscle soak before bed, which helps prevent my back and hips from giving out on me.  Especially with all the cleaning I do, and the fact that I spend a lot of time on a regular basis sitting in a kitchen chair working.  Not the best thing for sciatic nerve damage, that’s for sure!  But until I have the home of my dreams (with a home office) it is what it is.

Got lots of cleaning done yesterday, and still have tons more to do today.  I got my big closet cleaned out and reorganized, and hung up a lot of my clothes that were stuffed into my bureau…until I ran out of hangers.  Oops.  Still not finished my bedroom, but its getting there.  Several things are on their way out, which makes me very happy.  The less crap I have, the better.  Been debating some sort of built in type storage space in my room, because I have no where to store those things that I do actually use.  Which is a lot of the reason why my entire house looks cluttered.  This place is so tiny, and so old that storage is a huge issue.  Currently I think I’ll use some of the bureau drawers that I’ve emptied to hold things like my notebooks and binders that I use constantly.  Yay for junk drawers!  Still have the other closet to clean out, so we’ll see.  I’m pretty sure I’ll need more plastic tubs though. ;)

I’m pretty much revamping my entire life, from the ground up.  And that means this blog as well.  I’m going to be tweaking the blog, not removing it for those that are worried.  There’s a lot of work to be done, both offline and on.  But I can’t just sit on my thumbs.  Things have to change, and as I’m the only one who can change them, I need to work my butt off.  It could stand to lose a few inches I’m sure.  I’ve started making a “wants” list, and there are a few other lists I need to create.  I love lists!  Lists keep me focused, and I need that now.  I’m going to try writing goals like to do’s…just some slight tweaking, making them more specific and not time dependant, that sort of thing.