Starting Over…Again

Technorati Tags: General,Beginnings

Image by tapperboy via Flickr

Sometimes I wonder if I just like new beginnings.  A new day, a new blog, a new whatever…But I’m not actually going anywhere this time.  I haven’t been doing what I set out to do now for quite some time.  Chaos has ruled much of my life, and while not ALL of that is my fault, an extremely large portion (say 99.9%) of it is.

I need to get my shit in order.  Need to get my head spun back around.  I had directed my laser like focus to the wrong subject (yeah yeah, LONG story…so not going there.  Its over, done, healing) and now its disoriented.  I stopped learning.  I honestly do not think I’ve become immersed in any other subject in years.  And for someone of my nature, that’s like a slow, painful death.  No wonder I’m dead tired all the time…and frankly feeling not too far above what I would imagine re-animated dead to feel like.

How does one restart their life?  Unlike a blog, webpage, screen name, etc one cannot just start from scratch with a defined clean slate.  And in some ways, I wouldn’t want to forget everything…I’ve worked hard to get here, and learned many lessons along the way.  Many of which I really do not care to repeat, comprende? :)

I’m not a big fan of floating aimlessly through life, but perhaps there’s a lesson in there somewhere.  Either way I need to break free of my self-defined hell by getting back to basics.  Not sure how to do it, but it can only be done one step and one day at a time.  Before I go truly certifiable.